Mini-Introspections For My Thursday

Just sat down and starting writing this. Once I was done I decided I wanted to stick it somewhere. And now it’s stickin’ time:

I think I am often less warm or complimentary than I feel inclined to be because I worry that people will find me too nice and I will scare them away or creep them out. It’s an odd defensive tactic, and something that evidently pervades even the most inconsequential branch of my interactions with the world, given that I realized this about myself as I was reading an old comment I had made on somebody’s blog. A stranger’s blog, at that.

Really, I’m not good at taking those sorts of risks, though I fancy myself otherwise. I don’t usually go out on a limb and reveal just how passionately I feel about anything that actually means something, and when I do go out on limbs, I do it in a purely ironic sense so that anything I say or do “wrong” can (in theory) be swiftly retracted as a some sort of sarcastic remark or deadpan gag. I don’t let anything I say mean something to anyone else, myself least of all. Even on the Internet! And I’m so sick of it. I’m sick of going through the motions of my own life in that way. I am actually so damn nice. I don’t know who in the world told me I shouldn’t be.

Flashback Entry: The Lucky One (July 17th, 2004)

IMs are an interesting communicative form in that they theoretically almost embody the ideal conversation: while IMing, one has time. He or she has complete control and awareness of everything he or she says. It’s free of vocal and physical impulse, free of embarassing outbursts of splendor or grief or anguish or disgust or outrage or confusion. And most fascinating is the fact that an IM can be preserved, stored away in a subfolder of “My Documents”, ready at any given time to be reaccessed and reviewed. It’s almost as though one can actually time travel back to that ‘ideal’ conversation and see how it happened, blow-by-blow. Theoretically, this would offer a perrenial quick fix for sadness: have a controlled, top-of-your-game conversation over IM, save it, then dig it out of that little subfolder whenever you have an off-day. But somewhere the formula slips up.

I browsed my own personal collection of IMs today (yes, I am of the sort that actually saves memorable ones), and as I scanned through the eclectic jumble of random comedies (such as “Anna and the Marker”) and bittersweet romances (no, not my own) and simple friendly gabs, I came across one that arose a feeling not, as I’ve observed, to be theoretically linked to IMs: regret. I had said something in this particular conversation that was achingly self-pitiful, and I wanted, even months after I had typed it in and pressed “enter”, to take back my words, to show my adressee I was not as selfish or pessimistic or whatever brand of unpleasant I believed I had come across as. But I knew my wish was impossible, and it was then I realized the expendibility of my IM collection. Indeed I could travel back into the past, whether for a laugh or a forgotten cell phone number or a reminder of a friend’s support. But I could never travel so far as to change what was set in stone the split second after I said or did or thought it.

For a moment this realization stung. I had made a mistake, and I couldn’t erase it with a quick little pop of “Backspace.” And…that was just that. I picked my head up and scurried the mouse out of my subfolder and “My Documents” and straight into “My Music.” Cranking up the vintage Tim McGraw, I danced there, in my dining room, completely void of form and grace, and toasted to the future.

Oh man. I remember thinking that this entry was so deep back when I was fifteen. I was so impressed with myself for writing it. And you can see the way I stretched truth frequently to make things sound poetic - really, is there such a thing as “vintage Tim McGraw”? Dude’s only been recording since the 90’s. But I guess everything is vintage to you when you’re fifteen. Eh.

I guess I don’t have much else to say about this entry, really. Doing these Flashbacks is always extremely humbling for me because I realize what an arrogant little snot I was as recently as four years ago. Of course, part of that was just my being fifteen - this entry felt very raw and honest when I wrote it - but the other part of it was that I really was a very smug teenager. I don’t beat myself up for that way I used to, but reminding myself of it from time to time helps keep things in perspective. I’m very strange, I think, in that I have a tendency to behave too self-devaluingly (worst adverb ever, sorry - and look there, I just proved my own point) while simultaneously thinking and feeling too self-righteously. Or maybe that’s not uncommon. I dunno. It’s something I’m always working on. Now I sound neurotic. I promise I’m not, most of the time.

In any case, I thought this would be a good entry to resurrect. Even if the content is not as profound as I thought it was four years ago today when I wrote it, I remember it was a significant turning point in how I thought about myself as a writer. It was probably the first time I believed I could really say something with my words, the first time something I’d written had ever seemed to bring out new dimensions in my feelings about something. So I have a lot of affection for it in that regard. And I especially hope some of my old LiveJournal readers will get a kick out of seeing it again.

Pointless Post, Okey Doke

Two predictions before I go to bed. Neither is particularly risky; I just want to make them so I can feel smart when they inevitably come true. Because I’m vain like that, and I need the ego boost right now.

1) The deluxe fan-edition Sugarland album will dominate Billboard, selling well over 100,000 and close to 500,000 copies in its first week out. Okay, maybe that last part’s a bit risky. But that’s my feeling. They’ve marketed the hell out of this shit.

2) The Dark Night will obliterate box office records. You already knew that, though.

Single Scoop: Billy Ray Cyrus, “Somebody Said A Prayer”

I like Billy Ray Cyrus, I think. “Achy Breaky Heart” notwithstanding, the man’s got a nice, unpolished way of delivering material that can be very refreshing amid the schools of auto-tuna fish that populate so much of our country music sea. (I’m in a cheesy-metaphors kinda mood tonight; apologies). He does a good job of staying out of the way of the song here but still manages to sound distinct and earnest, and that’s commendable.

But the effort is mostly lost on “Somebody Said A Prayer,” a big “inspirational” number that kind of sounds like what you’d get if Carrie Underwood’s “Jesus, Take The Wheel” and Montgomery Gentry’s “Some People Change” had a little song baby which, through a genetic snafu, didn’t happen to inherit either parent’s melodic strength and instead wound up with a downright-silly string section. It’s not a horrible song on the subject of faith; it just doesn’t say or do anything new or interesting. Cyrus’ performance is probably the best part of the record; at the very end, he launches into a passionate, vibrato-y “ooooooooooooh” that, while incredibly predictable, somehow comes across as completely sincere. It’s almost enough make you care about this single enough to form some sort of impression of it. But only almost.

Grade: C-ii|ii About the grading scale

Listen: “Somebody Said A Prayer”

EDIT: I gotta hand it to you, Billy Ray fans: y’all really look out for your boy. This post is already my most-viewed ever by a pretty significant margin, and it’s been up for 40 hours! Now, that’s what I call dedication.

A Word About My Grading Scale

So, this blog has been getting a lot more attention than usual recently for my reviews of mainstream country singles. And honestly, I never planned for that to happen; I just like discussing music and thought including reviews and other music coverage in my personal blog here might be a cool way to organize my thoughts on something that is a pretty significant part of my life. That’s not to say that I don’t welcome the influx of traffic - no blogger doesn’t like more hits, and I love rapping on the subject with with others - but, never having functioned as any sort of “critic” until now, I’ve been a little jolted by some of the negative comments that have come pouring in from some of the more aggressive fans of certain artists. What is most unsettling about such comments (aside from their tendency to personally insult me rather than objectively discuss the single in question - and seriously, you guys, that’s no fun for anyone) is that they often seem spurred solely by disagreement with the final grade I’ve given to the particular single.

But here’s the thing everyone needs to understand about my grading: I’m tough. I’m very tough, and I can’t do be any other way because doing so would compromise my experience with country music. At its very best, country music gives a voice to people who feel they have none, ponders the bigger questions of life without indulging in the rah-rah intellectualism that can mar other art forms, makes one appreciate the little thrills of everyday life just a bit more, disturbs the comforted, comforts the disturbed, truly changes lives. And it’s able to achieve all this because, at its very best, it is incisively written and interpreted with taste and passion by its performers and producers.

So you see, country music is very serious business to me. I don’t want to hear the artists who are supposed to carrying on the legacies of greats like Hank Williams, Loretta Lynn, Waylon Jennings, Patsy Cline, Willie Nelson, or Dolly Parton clowning around with any old crowd-pleasing hit. I want to hear well-crafted, well-sung stuff. Stuff that expands country music rather than exploiting it. Stuff that sounds real, like the person singing it has personally experienced it, like the memory of it is a picture they’re desperate to paint and singing it is the only way they’ve got left to do it.

So I nit-pick, I quibble, I complain about things like melodic structure and lyrical choices because I want excellence. I want to hear the singles that will change the face of country music, that will define artists and eras, that people will still be listening to twenty, thirty, fifty years from now. But even more importantly, I want to hear music that stops people in their tracks. I want to hear the kind of song you have to pull your car over onto to the shoulder to listen through; the kind so natural and engaging that it seems to become as essential to you as a vital organ; a piece so timeless that it doesn’t even seem to have a beginning or an end; it’s just always going, always breathing, and sometimes it happens to come on the radio. I believe those songs still exist, and my grading scale is a reflection of that belief.

So without further ado (and I realize there has been quite a bit of it up to this point), I’d like to walk any interested parties through what each grade in my system means, so that you can see how my thought process for all of this works. If you ever want to refer back to it, I will probably start posting the link to it at the bottom of each single review (to hopefully ward off some of the haters), as well as on the archive page for the Shameless: Country Music Rants & Reviews category.

A classic record. Immaculately crafted and executed; unique; deserves recognition as one of the great singles of its time.

A superb record. Virtually faultless in craft and execution; a stand-out work.

An excellent record. Outstanding quality of craft and execution despite a few minor shortcomings.

A great record. Very strong quality of craft and execution despite some observable shortcomings.

A good record. Strong in craft and/or execution with some observable shortcomings.

A decent record. Strong in craft and/or execution, though rife with shortcomings.

An average record. Achieves adequacy of craft and/or execution, but fails to distinguish itself.

A weak record. Generally lacking in craft and/or execution with few redeeming qualities.

A poor record. Deplorable quality of craft and execution overshadow any redeeming qualities present in the recording.

Internet Finds: America’s Entitlement Problem

I’m not familiar with the blog that this post comes from, but I enjoyed reading it. It touches on a lot of the same stuff I attempted in an earlier personal entry, “The River Runs Gold,“ except more strongly and politically, since it’s from what I gather to be a much better-informed perspective than mine. Don’t know if I agree with all of the individual points, but the underlying idea is pretty compelling. Interesting stuff.

Alan Tudyk, The Red-Haired Wonder

Is it just me, or has this dude (probably still best known as Dodgeball’s “Steve The Pirate”) had some sort of minor role in every fricking movie that’s come out in the last five years?

Seriously, he warrants his own iteration of “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.”

Single Scoop: Kristy Lee Cook, “15 Minutes of Shame”

Yup yup. If it gets leaked, I cover it. That’s what “scoops” are all about, really.

And you know what? This isn’t that bad. I mean, it’s really more of a good idea than a great song, but it’s pretty fun on the first listen or two. The whole affair is remarkably puerile - Taylor Swift’s “Picture to Burn” seem almost sophisticated by comparison - plus it never actually makes good on its threats to blab about the guy’s wrongdoings; it just keeps talking about how she (the protagonist) is going to, which is sort of baffling (not to mention unfulfilling). Cook gives a decent vocal performance; nothing special, but not bad, either. Basically a middle-of-the-road country-pop single. Nothing more, nothing less. So it’ll probably be a hit.

Grade: C

Official release date: August 11th

Internet Finds: Photocrap

Nothing like a good self-conscious blog to remind you that there are still real people out there in cyberland. Photocrap wears its amateur badge proudly in the banner at the top of the page and in the title of its blogroll (”Better Blogs & Sites”), but don’t be fooled: this one’s got the goods. And it’s only been around for five days now.

The idea behind the bulk of the posts thus far is simple: the blogger (who appears to go by the moniker “Trailer”) posts pictures of fairly well-known albums edited to read more “honestly.” It’s not a revolutionary concept; he/she even admits that he/she got the idea from this site. But it has to be said that “Trailer” actually does the concept more justice, with sharper, more creative edits that play off of the album titles to great effect. A lot of the jokes will be lost on you if you’re not at least semi-familiar with the albums and artists he covers (and for your own sake, please be aware of the 25th anniversary release of Thriller so you can appreciate his treatment of it when you get there). For music buffs, though, Photocrap is shaping up to be a real winner, and I couldn’t help but try and give it some free publicity here.

New Tales of Symphonia Signals The Impending Decline of My Personal Productivity

You guys. I am so frickin’ excited about this:

If you happen to own a Nintendo Gamecube, Wii, or Playstation 2, like plot-heavy RPGs and have never played the original Tales of Symphonia, I recommend that you clear two or three weeks off of your calendar and do it. It’s not a horribly deep game, but if you’re like me, it might be the most thoroughly addictive console experience of your life. It’s long as heck (for perspective, it’s spread out over two Gamecube discs and took me close to eighty hours to finish) and sometimes very tedious (the back-tracking can be awful), but the plot is trippy fun and the combat system is as exciting as any I’ve seen. It’s the kind of game that attaches itself to you even though you know in your head that it’s not the best or most innovative game you’ve ever played. It makes you want to finish it.

The sequel promises to bring back most of the main characters from the original and apparently features some strange addition to the combat system involving monsters you can catch and breed and fight according to an elemental system (no word yet on whether you keep them in red and white balls and go around collecting Gym badges). We’ll have to see how that works out. The game just came out in Japan, and apparently we’re looking at a North American release date of November 1st - just in time for me to potentially waste my entire winter break away playing through it (if I don’t find something to do that actually helps humanity, that is). Awesome.